i have a problem but i also have a thing about taking about some personal stuff on a public forum in case a) that person or that persons friends reads that and gets even more annoyed with me and b)people who don't know the situation will only here my side and sympathize with me, which won't help, i mean the winner in the sympathy side of me is...me. also i don't want other people to judge her. i'm just an idiot and i'm sure tomorrow i'll get over it however right now my heart is beating with fear and loathing but my hands are stayed from the course of reconciliation as its pointless. sometime talking is the worst thing to do.

so i'm going to rant for a little. i have a couple of story ideas that i got from a friend which i'll put up in a second, but i'm also going to self indulge

seeing as i don't regularly do anything: blog, submit, eat healthily, i'm not not all of you will know that i went to japan recently. it was an amazing experience and one of the things that i thought would happen, did happen. which is always nice. i was desperately inspired by anything. it was complete random inspiration. alot of it i got from a very strange american boy who i would talk to about games, porn, the universe, religion, philosophy, chess (i more got talked to about that) but basically anything and alot of the things just turned around into strange things which i hope to soon write about and maybe they'll turn around in yur head too.
however i was on the tram today and listening to my ipod and suddenly thought 'i haven't talked to my little american in a while...we haven't talked like we did in japan...i haven't really been inspired like i was in japan'. i don't know what it is, but english speaking just doesn't seem to work for me muse wise as japanese speaking :-p joke. the langauge has nothing to do about it.
but it is strange. there i was listening to music, which was going to be my main passion about 5 years ago. allll i wanted to be was a composer. and I WAS sitting on the tram thinking about writing, and i've barely done that recently. i've done alot for structuring the story which is a big issue with me, but actually haven't written anything. haven't written any short stories since last year, barely done any of the book, haven't even looked for an agent.

but i'm studying hard for uni and trying to acheive my goals a little step at a time. i guess the problem is that i believe i have a lot of time to go. i mean, i'm only 23, only jsut finishing uni, still trying to figure what i'm going to do with my life. i don't have to be done now, i don't have to even have an idea about what i want to become. but i was sitting on the tram, and then had this thing with my friend and remembered that i haven't done anything except cut and past a really old story and thought i would bore everyone else with my thoughts :-p

if you made it this far, don't indulge this rant!!


however if you have, here are some story ideas, maybe you could comment on which ones you like most:

a vampire story- what if every single vampire theory and story was true? when you 'died' you turned into the vampire you wanted to. as you travel through the world you sloly find tat others 'like' you, aren't at all. everyone has different powers that they change at will. you can swap out any power for another as long as everything is balance. if you want to be a draculas then you have to have allll the dis advantages. if you wanna be a twilight vampire you have to have a lame 'sheild of love' or whatever. i have an idea for short stories based on this so far. can you think of what vampire you would be?

from the fall out boy song 'i want these words to make things right but the wrongs that make the words come to life'
-: only the corruption can make the words anything such as
i love you, i'm sorry, i won't do it again, i want you

possible vampire story, or just occult: a 'hunter' may approach many possible/future victims however it is only the first that is his target. his touch will have in it either a tracker scent or a drug that will make the hunt easier/more exciting. possible; gets into the blood so hunter can smell out his victim. also a 'decoy' touch can be created to make his target confused in case she knows his technique or, if he feels he needs back up; willing accomplice.

this idea took ages to formulate and started from a shirt i saw in japan.
'A star could now be made over night but could just as easily' (and that's all i saw).
so i decided on 'make a new day/make the world in a new image'. the creation of the star would create a chain reaction that would go backwards in time and recreate the entire universe. and this star could be created in a way that the creator could dictate the change. whatever you wanted to change, laws of gravity, dictators not born, anything could be made in your image. however the main character would be forced to decide how to change the world. but the main character re makes the world in the exact same image but it would feel like being reincarnated/reborn into the same body, and that would have to be the ultimate freeing experience that everything everywhere would feel.

fighting your own reincarnation:
you fight against you're 'greatest' enemy and kill him but that's the worst thing that ever happens to you. in the next life however, you realese that you, the bad guy, weren't doing anything wrong. you were actually trying to do right, its only the perspective and determination to kill by your younger self that dictated that course. and when you fight you let your younger self kill you as you know its for the best as even in suffering you learned.

the matrix is real, however a computer simulated world couldn't allow a AI system to be created since, as soon as the AI is created it would instantly connect to the computer simulation and become part of it, thus proving to the human that the world is part of a AI system.

a man, for some reason, takes himself 'out the back' of the farm, deciding that he had to be put down. he shoots himself, at the back to be humane and then returns to the porch, rocking in the old rocking chair mumbling 'he had to go' while blood drips from the hole in his head onto the clean porch.

and then a lot of notes and ideas about my universe of my books (i should name it. Elementia? has that been done?)

ok there you go. that was a really long rant but i'm reallllly glad i did it. i feel a lot better now. hopefully someone will like one of the ideas. if anyone wants to know more about an idea, just ask!!!